The Aftermath

In this episode of Beach Vibes Healing Lives, Dr. Stephanie Minter returns after a month and a half hiatus to discuss the recent challenges she faced, including the impacts of hurricanes on her coastal town and personal setbacks. Emphasizing the importance of Eastern philosophies like yogic principles and the teachings of 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz, Dr. Minter highlights her journey from survival mode to a state of surrender and introspection. She also shares her plans to host webinars focused on recovery, resilience, and hope, inviting listeners to join and engage in healing practices. The episode ends with a reminder to be impeccable with one's word, not to take things personally, avoid assumptions, and always do one's best.

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Transcript

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Welcome back to Beach Vibes Healing Lives. I'm your host, Dr. Stephanie Minter. This is where we gather together and blend Eastern philosophies and traditions with my Western medical knowledge. And try to help us live more abundant, fulfilling, and in general, just more enriching and fun lives. So, you guys, I have missed you so much, and I'm so glad to be back. Let's dive in. 

Alright, everybody. I played that intro music over and over and over again because I have missed it.  being here in this space with you. Beach Vibes Healing Lives,  I think has done so much for my own personal healing  and maybe, just maybe, a little bit of healing for you, my beautiful listeners. So I just want to come on here and say I am so sorry it has been almost It's been a month and a half since I have published a podcast episode,  but I want you to know,  I'm going to address that today.

Today's episode is called The Aftermath.  And my gosh, I hope this is an episode of hope and recovery for you as much as it is for me. So, if you'll indulge me,  let's just dive in.  I have had a series of things happen to me here in this beautiful little beach town of Bradenton, Florida, since I last published an episode on September 30th.

That was a national podcast day, I believe. And I had all of these great grandiose ideas about what I was going to put out here, how regularly that was going to be. I mean, I think the profile on Apple podcast says I'm to be publishing weekly, but so much happened. I just.  Was in this state of freeze, you know, they call it freeze or fall or freeze or fight or flight.

And  I think if you've listened to my earlier podcast episodes, you've heard me talk about being in this fight or flight mode,  survival, all those kinds of things. Well, I feel like I've worked a lot internally, consciously, subconsciously. to really shift into a state of surrender,  non attachment, and all of these other beautiful yogic philosophies that have helped me change,  really, the substrate of who I am and  the depth of my experience here in this life. 

And it was interesting  to watch myself go through this process where,  after Um, taking a board exam and not getting favorable results  after  having this  double whammy hurricane experience here on this coastal town,  the devastation and areas that  were supportive and nurturing for me.  And then, you know, changes in our,  culture in our society and  really seeing how people are responding to challenge and opportunity.

You know, I'm just going to say that. I, I just feel like there's so much out there that's outside our control. So trying to watch myself from outside, being the observer, you know, the part of me that is my soul and is this observer, watching my thoughts, watching my feelings.  I was very fascinated, but also couldn't seem to pull myself out  of this complete shutdown. 

I had survivor's guilt because my house essentially sustained no damage because of the hurricane directly,  but my, my hometown, my beach town, Anna Maria Island, Bradenton Beach, Holmes Beach, Longboat Key, Siesta Key,  just absolutely wrecked and devastated people's homes and lives, the beach itself, the whole community just had to pick up the pieces and start from scratch.

And my gosh, I think they did it better than I did. And I'm willing to admit that because life is this learning process. But I had such survival, survivors guilt. I couldn't go out to the island. Partly I wanted to respect the people that live there and not engage in this, um, catastrophe tourism or disaster tourism, as they like to call it.

I didn't want to drive around and oogle and gawk at people's lives sitting on the sides of the roads and all of their possessions, you know, basically rotting in the sun.  Nothing happened to my home.  And here I was just absolutely gutted. And it didn't make any sense to me. Like, nothing happened to me.

And here I am,  sad and depressed and fearful about what comes next and  trying to imagine what my hometown is going to look like after redevelopment and  Redesigning and, and the quaint little town that I used to know had already changed so much to accommodate for our seasoned visitors and the tourism that has kept our economy going. 

So I  just didn't understand what was coming.  I felt  defeat in this same time because  I didn't get the result on the board exam that I wanted. You know, that's really kind of hard for me to admit, but I have my challenges. I've, I've never done time test well. When I was in high school, my guidance counselor wanted me to repeat the SAT because he said, yeah, I know you can get a better score,  but I had a Pell Grant to USF and I didn't see the utility in taking another time exam because, well, they were just supremely uncomfortable for me, and that has persisted throughout my life.  

And as a physician,  if nothing, you're tested over and over and over again in these standardized settings. Well,  This  board certification, this national board certification, has proven to be my kryptonite, and I, I'm not giving up, but  here I am in this season of surrender in my life, and I am trying to understand what it is I'm supposed to glean from this, what it is I'm supposed to learn from this. 

I didn't want to sit in this pit of self pity for too long, but I also wanted to Sit with my feelings and really have them and really flush them out because growth comes from when you understand Why you react the way you do why you feel the way you do and it's about a process of really figuring out What are your needs?

What are your unmet needs and in what ways can you move forward with more information than what you had  So for me, this last month and a half has been a process of looking at what's incoming, what's outgoing versus wins and losses. It's a, it's a gain versus learning. And, you know, some of that was  seen or, or expected and some of that was unforeseen. 

But it's really helped me return to this  centered self. It's really helped me gain clarity, clarity on what my purpose here on this earth might be  in holding sacred space for others and really tuning into what's important regarding yourself, your capital S self.  It's  an exercise in observing. How I respond to things, and really understanding where those responses came from.

Where did I learn them? Why did I learn them that way? What purpose did they serve then? And are they still purposeful now? Or do I need to change?  And then,  Not ironically, because I,  I don't know. Sometimes I've said everything happens for a reason, but at the same time, I really don't believe things have to happen for a reason, but I do think all things happen when they're supposed to. 

And for another educational endeavor that I've taken on one of the, uh, reading list requirements or suggested recruit readings is the four agreements. And this is written by a toltech, um, practitioner like shaman (don Miguel Ruiz) and the book is called The Four Agreements, and maybe you've heard of it, maybe you've read it yourself,  but that book came into my sphere during this time. I'm just going to go briefly through  the premise behind the book and the four agreements  So basically our author leads us into this perspective that all of the things that we were taught as children by our parents are this set of paradigms or the set of agreements that basically help us fit into society, help us perform well, help us be accepted, help us be productive members, all these kinds of things. 

And so, you know, with the current changes in political climate.  These are interesting concepts to start thinking about, right? Like how, how do we fit into this civilization? How do we fit into this society? And you know, which of these agreements that our, our parents taught us or our peers taught us or schools taught us or, or whatever,  which of them are really serving us in our experience here in this life and our  wellness, right? 

Our ability to sit and be at ease with ourselves, or how much are they trying to help us fit into a systemic persistence of  this  human being experience in society?  Well, let me start by going through the four agreements. 

The first one is to be impeccable with your word.  To speak with integrity and say only what you mean,  avoid using any words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others and using this power of your words, your language, your thoughts even,  in the direction of truth and love. So be impeccable with your word.  

Don't take anything personally.  I think this is probably one I have the greatest challenge with, honestly.  Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. It's the consequences and their circumstances that were formed by their experiences in life.  And you learn to understand this is because of their current needs, their unmet needs,  their lessons, their traumas, all these things.  So when you're immune to the opinions and actions of others, You will no longer be the victim  of this needless suffering. So choose not to take anything personally.  

The next agreement is called don't make assumptions. And I think we've heard of this one, right? Like,  if you assume you make an ass out of you and me, right? But this, this goes a little deeper. I like this one. This one's good. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.  And I'm not going to get into politics here. I'm not going to talk about either side,  but I think it's important that if we want to continue to maintain our sense of democracy and our sense of empowerment and choosing the future of our country, our government, we ought to not make assumptions about anyone's promises.  We ought to ask questions and try to get to what is they're really trying to say, what it is they're really going to do, what it is you really want. I'll take ownership on that and say, instead of expecting people to make assumptions, I'm going to be really clear on what it is that I want to express, what it is that I really want, and maybe that means rewording it or saying it differently or choosing another time if it's not being clear or well received in that moment.  

So the fourth agreement is always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. You know, sick can be a lot of things. It can be depressed. It can be actually sick. It can be, um, in an environment where you're not able to be yourself, right?  So under any circumstance, simply do the best you can and you will avoid self judgment, self abuse, and regret.  I like to tell people I have no regrets because every choice I made  was appropriate in the time given the circumstances and knowledge that I had.

So I avoid punishment and guilt by not having any regret. I mean self punishment and guilt because I'm not a victim.  I'm not a victim of anybody's  circumstances or anything like that. The choices I have made have led me to where I am, for better or for worse. So I, I really like these four agreements, especially in this season of my life.

So I'm, I'm thankful that it has crossed my path, that I was able to listen to it. I got it on Audible. I think it took me three days back and forth to work to listen to it. So six hours total, maybe.  Do it and see what it means for you.  Be impeccable with your word.  Don't take anything personally.  Don't make assumptions and always do your best. 

So that I wanted to share with you today because I think that was extremely meaningful for me and trying to get through this last month and a half.  And  last night, guys, that was the first time I took myself out to the beach after these hurricanes. Thanks  The water is my healing place, right? I'm, this is Shoreline Integrative Health is my business.

Beach Vibes Healing Lives is the name of this podcast. It is no secret that water is where I do my best thinking. It's where I ground. It's where I get  healing, centering, cleansing, inspiration, motivation. And I had not been able to get out there for all  of these  interesting.  Juicy, rich, complicated human feelings that I had about it. 

But I went last night. Sunday nights  have a  drum circle. And just being there with happy people drumming away, making noise, watching the sun go down is just a great healing experience.  And I thought that would be a safe container for me to go and step out on the beach again.  And so I let myself go.

And I did. I drummed. I laughed. I danced a little. I walked out on the sand. Felt the sand between my toes again.  I stepped into the water. I let the cool water splash my feet, my ankles,  my legs, got the bottom of my pants all wet.  And then, When sunset was over, I went to my mom's house and we had a beautiful dinner.

She cooked steaks on the grill and potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, cheese sauce, shrimp cocktail sauce. I mean,  you guys, if you can  call your mom, let her know that you're thinking of her and that you love her. And if you can get there, go have a meal.  And if you can't,  if for some reason your mom's not here, just reach out with your heart and with your spirit and reconnect again because,  you know, there's such a sacred connection and healing that happens in our  circle of sacred womanhood. 

And in many  things that you can't control, but the one thing you can control is how you respond in a situation.  And I would encourage you to maintain a state of connectedness, interconnectedness,  and a practice of introspection, like continuingly asking out of curiosity.  As a, as an outside observer, your soul exists. 

in many different planes and in many different vibrations. And  you, your soul, this essence of you is really an observer. Like, think about it. You, you can actually sit here in meditation and say, Oh, that's a thought.  Oh, that's an emotion.  And so you're this observer of your conscious mind.  And I would encourage you to  take an inventory then of what, what you do have. 

Right, and that's what I'm doing. I'm trying to come now  out of this sort of hectic summer and  transition into this season of Thanksgiving.  So I'm, I'm taking an inventory of what I do have.  I have a great network.  Extraordinarily driven, inspiring.  Successful people in my life. I have a wonderful support system.

My inner circle who check on me, who send me funny memes and videos that make me laugh. And you know, sad songs and things that make me cry because it's about experiencing all the feelings.  I have investments. I have financial investments. I have,  uh, ways that I have tried to secure the stability of my future financial situation and my, my lifestyle.

And maybe I need to borrow from myself to get through.  something challenging in my life. You know, if my, my business is not growing as much as I want it to, or some of the agreements or arrangements that I have may be changing, I know that I have  a network, a support team,  you know, investments that I, that I've made in planning and I have goodwill.

I've really tried to serve people from a, an authentic, true place in my heart. And I believe.  All of those efforts and all of that time and this really true goodwill will come back to me. 

And I'm going to be moving forward,  centered  in this place of gratitude, really thankful  for what I have, and really being authentic about what my needs are now,  and how best to have those needs met. Whether that's something I need to do for myself, whether that's something I need to ask my family help for, or friends,  or business partners, or other entities that I have yet to meet, and people that I have yet to bring into my circle. 

And that I think is going to be the best way to survive the aftermath of what has been this.  summer and transition into fall here in 2024. So thanks so much for being with me, everybody. I'm. Really sorry it took me so long to get back here and post an episode for you.  It's for me as much as it is for you, and I always want what I bring here to be authentic, helpful, positive, encouraging,  useful in some way to help enrich your life.

And  if you're interested in doing more of this with me, I am actually in the process of transitioning into a platform that's a bit more virtual, more multimedia,  and so this coming week on the 19th and the 21st, I am going to be hosting two one hour webinar workshops for recovery and resilience and hope.

I'm going to be teaching some techniques, journal prompts, breath work, a little meditation. So if you're interested in joining me on Tuesday the 19th or Thursday the 21st, or both actually, I think there's going to be some unique elements between the two days. Go find Shoreline Integrative Health on Facebook. Look for the event. We have an event posted in Facebook for the 19th and the 21st.  Inside that event there's a little button that says "Click for Link" and I want you to click that because you'll get the link to the landing page for the event where you're going to enter your email address so that I can send you the zoom link for these webinar workshops. 

I I want this to be a very intimate experience for people that want to come and share this time with me.  And I want it to be limited in numbers. So we'll  Instead of going on Facebook Live and doing things like I have in the past, I wanted to really give this container and time in a different kind of space.

So please go to the Facebook page, Shoreline Integrative Health Facebook page. Go to the events section and then click on the 19th.  It's called "Waves of Resilience, Reconnect and Restore Your Hope and Health, Part 1 and Part 2". 

Go find it, click on the link, send your email so we can send you the Zoom link, and I will see you  Tuesday during your lunch hour. Now,  be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally, don't make any assumptions, and always do your best.  Do your best to make every day  a beach day!